#a quick way to get to know someone's blog and what they're about Before you start interacting so less time wasted more curated exp etc
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sillylotrpolls · 24 hours ago
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About Reblog Graphs
Have you ever clicked on the "reblog graph" button of a post? I think they're one of the... well, maybe not greatest features on tumblr ever (polls are probably better), but they're still pretty darn neat.
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I want to show some cool patterns I noticed on some recent posts of mine, but first I'll explain how reblog graphs work so you can more easily follow along.
This is pretty long with a bunch of pictures, so click the cut to read more.
How reblog graphs work
If you've never done so before, I invite you to click the notes button on this or any other post and then the icon with four circles. You will then see a bunch of dots connected by lines.
For example, if you click the graph for the "blorbo in Elvish" post, you get something like this:
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Now, let's zoom in a bit. You can do this by using the mouse wheel and clicking and dragging around the graph until it's showing what you want. (I don't know how it works on mobile, but presumably it's similar to using Google maps?)
This next screenshot is the bit in the lower right of the graph shown above. However, the graph may not always display in the same way because reblog graphs are re-generated each time you click the "reblog graph" button.
Here you can see that I'm viewing the root post, which is the original post made by me. It's indicated by a circle with a dot inside. You can also see that six people reblogged that post. Each reblog shows as a dot with a line connecting it to the post it was reblogged from.
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Now here's a cool thing about reblog graphs: they're interactive! You can click on any dot and see the post it represents and the reblog chain that led to it.
For example, clicking this dot that has several lines emanating out from it shows that it is "2 reblogs deep" and was posted by @cycas.
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Got it? Close enough? Cool, now let me show you some neat things I noticed. :D
The Swedish Chef poll and very popular bloggers
My polls tend to average between 500 and 2000 votes, depending on subject matter. The Swedish Chef poll, however, took off and eventually garnered over 22,000 votes. How did that happen? A very popular blog reblogged it about five days in.
Initially, the graph looked like this. (This is the first 200 reblogs.) There's nothing unusual here. You can see that the root post had several reblogs, and that there's another cluster developing around a post by @zagreus. There are also several reblog chains where just one person reblogs someone else's reblog. Some of these chains peter out, while others find their way onto the dash of more popular bloggers, creating clusters.
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A quick note about "popularity"
Yes, yes, it's all about "popular." However, it's not just about having a bunch of followers. What's more important is that the "popular" person reblogging your post has followers who are specifically interested in your post.
For instance, if I, @sillylotrpolls, make a poll about LazyTown, it's probably not going to get very many reblogs because my followers aren't here for that. However, if @silly-lazytown-polls reblogs the poll, that reblog might then get quite a lot of reblogs itself. It's not that silly-lazytown-polls has more followers than sillylotrpolls, it's that it has more followers specifically interested in LazyTown content. Make sense?
Back to the Swedish Chef poll
The poll eventually got over 5,000 reblogs. Since you can only add 200 reblogs to the graph at a time, you can roughly see how a post spread over time.
With 600 reblogs loaded, a new cluster bursts onto the scene. This is @bunjywunjy, who reblogged the post from @beecreeper who reblogged it from @soggypotatoes who reblogged the original.
Bunjywunjy didn't add any tags or comments, so I didn't even notice at first because it didn't show in my activity feed. However, I did notice a sudden uptick in notes on the post, which caused me to investigate. It had been five days since I posted the poll, and usually polls that are going to take off do so sooner than that.
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By continuing to click the "load more reblogs" button I can see how the post further spread, especially from bunjywunjy's post.
When the post reached @beggars-opera (whose icon I am somewhat proud to announce I identified on sight), they added a screenshot of @stylishanachronism 's tags which said:
# all of these are incorrect it's the 'meat's back on the menu boys!' scene
This would become the dominant version of the post as it further spread. Interestingly, this was the only reblog of stylishanachronism's reblog. Literally thousands of people loved their tags and agreed with them, but they quite plausibly never saw it unless they specifically went looking.
By 3,200 reblogs, you can see even bigger clusters developing. @thebibliosphere shows up 10 reblogs deep, and leads to yet another cluster via @teaboot (12 reblogs deep).
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Eventually, with all 5,371 reblogs loaded, the reblog graph looks like this:
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Like I said: neat. :D
Cool, but if you've seen one, you've seen them all - right?
So what prompted this (extremely long) post was actually the reblog graph for my poll on inspirational LotR quotes.
Here's the reblog graph with 200 reblogs loaded:
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And here's the graph with all 1,890 reblogs loaded:
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It's just one big cluster around the root post. I've never seen that before!! Almost everyone reblogging this post saw it either because they follow this blog, saw it in the #lotr tags, or because their non-influencer friend reblogged it. (Or maybe it was in some kind of algorithm/the explore feed, but I have nearly zero experience with those.)
And this wasn't just a small post. This poll got over 15,000 votes and more than 4,000 notes. That puts it in the top 10 polls for this blog.
What does it mean? I have no idea. I would really like to know! But really, I got nothing. If you have a theory for why this particular poll should result in a reblog graph like this, I would very much like to hear it.
Orphan clusters
To round things off, I'd like to show another interesting facet of reblog graphs: orphan clusters.
This blog's current undisputed poll champion is the fmk wheel poll. That's not really a surprise, as it combined sex with a fun game where you just had to tell everyone what you got, which meant either a reply or a reblog. So it spread pretty far.
However, if you look at the graph, there's something odd going on.
This is with just 200 reblogs loaded:
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Notice how some of the dots don't connect to the root post? That's because somewhere along the chain, a reblog was deleted.
This cluster in the bottom left got pretty big! This screenshot is at 800 reblogs loaded. The missing link is from a blog called @gendertaliban that doesn't exist anymore, as near as I can tell. That makes it impossible to trace the full path of any of these reblogs.
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In conclusion
This concludes today's deep dive into a tumblr feature you probably never paid any attention to. Admittedly, there's not a huge use for it outside of determining which of your mutuals is an "influencer," and they get quite difficult to navigate after loading about 1000 reblogs, but I hope you enjoyed staring at dots and lines with me. :)
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possible-eldritch-catboy · 2 years ago
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ya know between twitter and tumblr I think one of the main things that keeps me from fully relying on this as a main habitable space, even for all its stress free meme perusal and lack of constant random twitter idiots popping up everywhere, is the fact that on mobile I can't access someone's main profile, mainly their pinned posts, very easily. I just have to hope I stumble across it at some point where I could break their dni on accident. that kinda sucks I am not gonna lie to u.
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marsprincess889 · 1 month ago
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Ketu in the houses
Doing smaller(in this case not so much, but it's still more elementary and formulaic) posts before dropping the big ones. I know you all are going to love this (my blog has become a ketu information hub for a lot of you 😅🙃)
As always, keep in mind: ketu is very internal and personal. I can give you basic descriptions and observations but to connect with your ketu, due to its essence and nature, I think you'll have to shut out a lot of the noise and just listen to yourself. That concerns everything. So, if your truth is telling you that I or someone's description is incorrect, then trust it. Be careful while examining that.
Ketu in the 1st house:
Automatic and natural possession of the physical body. Comfortable in their own skin, sometimes too comfortable. Have an appearance that suits natural adornment. Quality pieces look extra good on them, but even they wear/carry something "cheap", it still somehow works. They don't have to really think about their appearance, but if they do start to, it might have enormous impact on others. They're not really fans of trendy looks of the moment as I've observed, they have the power to set the trends themselves but I'd say most of them are not aware of that. Might be loud while talking and have a sort of unrestrained/unfazed demeanor. On ther hand, they might also be really quiet.
When all else fails, just focus on yourself. Keep coming back to yourself in times of crisis. You have good health but don't ignore it, this placement might not even give you the permission to. You have enormous privilege of having amazing power, don't waste it.
Ketu in the 2nd house:
Hoarders, collectors, but not intentionally. Possessions have meanings attached to them. Intuitively have a knowing of what should go into their body and follow it, even if others disagree. Good at measuring the worth of things or people. Relaxed face. Sort of disconnected from their family or lineage, or seem that way. Family support was convenient in childhood but might have been taken for granted. Deeper voice(?), slightly intimidating way of speaking. Great singers(?).
You can always ground yourself, no matter how strongly it seems otherwise. The support and the family can be all around you if you find it inside yourself first.
Ketu in the 3rd house:
This is my placement, so it's gonna be longer(cause I have more info, not cause I'm arrogant😭) so bear with me.
Aware and alert but ironically might not be aware of this at first. Great instincts, naturally skilled. The information field is constantly on their radar. A lot of what they observe is boring to them, and they absorb everything. Movements are natural/effortless. Might look clumsy or careless with movements or speaking sometimes but they have it together, more than others and more than it shows. Have the ability to skillfully get out of sticky situations. Survivors. They have creative ways of managing tasks. Great with details but confused with too much data, they consider it pointless. Can get to the bottom of things. Can play devil's advocate but they often don't want to. Can argue but it's mainly to increase a sense of self-possession. Their "trivial" words have more meaning than they or others assume at first. Don't say a lot of what they know. Might be surprised that things that are obvious to them elude others. More shrewd than they look, but they themselves consider a lot of "shrewd" and "cunning" strategies dumb and superficial. WILL NOT trust others before analyzing them in their head. Quick, kind of messy minds but still somehow organized and sensible. Love to dig and investigate. Trust themselves before anyone else. Know that they know stuff but can't show the whole truth of it easily. Use confusion as a weapon. Relationships with siblings, cousins and childhood friends are nuanced, interesting and kind of cimplicated. Town/neighborhood black sheep but still fit there the best.
Ehh, what can I say, you're doing amazing keep going. 😭 The truth will come, don't worry, boredom is not forever and sometimes it's better than anything. Anxiety is a warning, get that b*tch out of your system, connect to what makes you calm. Look around you and get rooted to your life, like you know how to do.
Ketu in the 4th house:
Strongly tied to their home/family, whether they want/like it or not. Private about family life. Need their space a lot. Sort of clingy to their family and home but at the same time want to break out of it. Get defensive if you get too close or vulnerable. Have a natural ability to nurture but always nurture themselves first. Familial responsibility is embedded in them. May have been spoiled with attention, especially in childhood but have hated it, or have come to hate it. On the other hand, might have felt very ignored by their family memebers. Might have a very traditional family that values culture, upholding to moralities, and appearance.
Family is not the worst thing in the world and I know the ties might hurt, but there is truth and stability there for you. Find peace there and the rest will fall in place.
Ketu in the 5th house:
Fun, creativity, art has deep meaning to them. Life is built on entertainment for them. Their life is a soap opera. Dramatic and expressive. Art is their religion. Can be ignorant of other's preferences and naturally assert dominance when the situation concerns creativity, entertainment and art, even remotely. Only know what they like and don't seek to be trendy in their preferences, it's very personal to these natives. Can be selfish and get lost in hedonism. Don't discriminate between pop and indie, or discriminate harshly. Not easily infulenced in general but easily persuaded if you know their "weak points"/preferences. Generous with their attention if others can pay even more attention to them.
Yeah, life is art, but it's not for profit and not always for show. Learn to be humble when life demands it. It IS your life, but before you get lost in the art, make sure you're rooted in the truth of it.
Ketu in the 6th house:
Resilient, distrustful but relaxed. Healthy and helpful, very practical and balanced. Might have had health struggles that have shaped them and made them stronger. Natural medicine>chemicals. Will take chemicals if they consider it correct and see no other way. Expert at making the best out of the worst situations. Not confrontational but can put people in their place. On the other hand, might not hesitate one bit and be direct in times of tension. Know how to look after themselves and hate it when others interfere. Won't take advice even from close people, have a very unique and personalised way of looking after themselves, as well as a unique/personalised routine. Obstacles might persist but they can't to much to these people. Skillful and quietly cunning but it's not much work.
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade, and squeeze them in other people's eyes if needed. You gotta be selfish sometimes, what can you do. Every day is a gift and the routine is a privilge. Don't be mean about it.
Ketu in the 7th house:
Lovers and supporters. Recognize other people easily and connect to them deeply and effortlessly. Charming and genuine. Recogize the truth behind connections and human behavior, sensitive to one-on-one dynamics. Good listeners, excellent company, giving and humble but know how they gain from relationships and connections. Value harmony and conflict resolution. Naturally attune to others and find their sense of self through them. Know how and what to sacrifice for others but have strong and specific boundaries. Love has a deep meaning to them, any kind of love. Important relationships are full of intricacy and are laced with destiny.
We are parts of something bigger than us, and we all have stories to tell. Keep finding yourself through other people and keep helping others find themselves. "Karmic" ties are not punishment, they're the simple truth.
Ketu in the 8th house:
Complicted internally, don't make much of it. Each crisis is an opportunity to gain. Survival IS life. Never reveal too much of themselves and easily read others, but can be stubborn about seeings things in only their way. Incorrect judgement costs them a lot, correct judgement gives them enormous power. Struggle anyways. Casually intense. Se×ual and private. Privacy is a must. Go through a lot of pain and become savage if their privacy is invaded. Know that selfishness is very selfless. Quietly independent, confidently dependant, carefully engaging. Adaptible but out of necessity. Hide their intensity, along with other things, very well.
The complications are alright, don't be afraid of the unknown, or fear itself. It's okay to go deep, it's okay to not, it's ok to survive however it is possible for you.
Ketu in the 9th house:
Philosophy is natural. They find truth everywhere if only they detach. They seem "higher" than others, and seem to be enjoying it. Truth is simple and exhilirating for them. They need their freedom. They exude a sense of wander and assuredness. Don't really care about conventional morals as most people see them and have a hightly personal sense of right and wrong. Religion is very familiar to them, whatever it has been. Talk to "god" and "the divine" to feel comfort, might not realize it fully. Their faith has been tested and strengthened, and they themselves might have tested their own others' faith. Might feel like nobody will understand their exact beliefs, but understand others' beliefs. Even if they feel lonely sometimes, places of worship feel weirdly reasuring. Can become a little arrogant.
Your ideals are not too high and mighty. You know what you know, and you should know that you do. Not everyone can ground themselves in a grand and utopian place. Don't let possible arrogance blur or exaggerate it.
Ketu in the 10th house:
Legacy is inherited. The world can feel like their oyster. Even if not much is going well, they might feel supported by people in power, and usually, they are, even though they never really asked for it. Older people and those with more experience bring out their natural competence and maturity. Might come from a line of influence, usually from father's side. Easily gain aqcuaintances but feel like they have to work hard to gain and keep friends. Might feel like they have much to lose but don't worry about it. Family prince/princess, or people's prince/princess, but in a quiet way. Naturally self-possessed. Might feel chained by obligations.
There are those who will stand by you as you pull back and detach. When you go into the world, people see you, and you know how to act. You don't really care about your reputation, but it cares about you. Don't lose a good thing, embrace and enjoy it, because in that, you will find your truth and your power. That stability that is too familiar to you, it's a huge privilege.
Ketu in the 11th house:
Everyone's friend, everyone's confidante, one of the girls/boys. The gang is what they trust, but they don't look for the gang. The gang is just there. Friends flock to them and they welcome all, but friendships are private and their business. The kind of people that don't have to do anything for friends to find them. Might feel like they act like a constant chameleon to everyone but feel comfortable in that place. Can be too neutral to strangers, but become proud activists for causes that are close to their heart. Strongly unbiased and multi-faceted. Others feel relieved when they're around at gatherings. Can be very uncaring and dismissive, unless you are one of their people.
You're lucky with support. Even if friends have dissapointed you, you have gotten something valuable and worthy out if it. There are those that are your people, and those that aren't. Don't lose sight of that, but be honest with discerning who is who.
Ketu in the 12th house:
What really lights them is hidden and reserved only for them. Selfless like it's nothing. Deep and understanding, floating through life like a fish following their own current. They can gently hold your hand through harshest times but it's so subtle you'll barely realize you've been affected by them by the time it's almost done. When they get lost, they really get lost, and that's when and where find themselves. Hate to force things and know how to be humble. Private like no one else. If life gets too hollow they become a recluse. Nobody sees what depths they carry within at first, but some might suspect, by their restrained behavior, or by an innocent yet wise look in their eyes. They're not mad when they go into themselves, and no matter how much you try to get to them, if they can't, they won't hear you. But it does not matter. In their own way, they hear and see everyone, and through them, they see and hear themselves.
Oh, yes, confusion is huge and it seems overwhelming. You know how to find comfort in that. So many sides to life, so many truths. If others tell you you're deluded, do not forget that everyone is. When your sacrifice and martyrdom becomes too much, stay only with yourself once more.
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deerspherestudios · 26 days ago
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Hiiii, I'm sorry if I'm gonna seem mean but I just need to get this out of my head
Why do you always answer coldly to your fans? Like not coldly but dry..I don't know why but every time you respond your fans it just seem like you're annoyed. Like yes I get it a lot of people answer things you already answered before and it's annoying to say the same things over and over, but at the same time they're your fans, someone who loves what you did and someone who appreciates you and your creations. I'm sorry if I may seem mean but it really makes me sad when I see you responding like "if this wasn't obvious enough" or "stop asking me things I've already responded to". Maybe also I'm just really paranoid but I don't know
Hello! I debated answering this privately but I feel like I should address it publicly in case you're not the only one who feels that way.
I'll keep things short above the cut (I address the whole thing below but beware it's a ramble) but just know I will always appreciate people who enjoy my work and give me support regardless; if that wasn't obvious enough <3 /pos /aff /lh
I'm genuinely sorry if it comes off as cold; I didn't even realize my tone could be interpreted in such a way. If it seemed cold, perhaps it was more of me being direct? (I worry that even now I'm coming off as cold when I'm trying to be direct and straightforward!)
I don't wanna get personal but if for whatever reason it did, I never meant my words to hurt people.
As for the phrase, I don't think I say "if this wasn't obvious" that often, but when I do it's more of a "you got it!!" tone rather than,,, sarcasm? But I understand why it might've been interpreted that way.
As for asking people to stop sending questions I've answered, I've made QnA masterlists for this exact reason. I'd just appreciate it if people go through them! Plus an FAQ is an FAQ for a reason.
Understandably people don't have the time to explore through everything on the masterlists, and just want an answer to a quick question. I can't really help with that! If something's been answered it'll be there, and if it's not, I'll add it in.
That's just how I manage my blog and I respectfully ask people to check the FAQs and such before sending me questions I've already talked about, some of them extensively.
At the end of the day, answering questions take time and energy, as silly as that sounds. It's just a Tumblr blog after all, but at least in my case, it takes a lot out of me. But whichever question I choose to respond to I do my best to give my all, including this one.
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miifu666 · 18 days ago
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Hi I’m a big fan of your blog , love how you draw the characters!!
How do you think monkey king and suklha would court each other.
Helloww ♡♡♡
Funny you ask that!!! 😭 i just finished a doodle about that too!
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Since Wukong's a hot tempered and unpredictable monkey king with a high self esteem. I like to add a bit of Monkey facts in his behaviour. Ofc besides the fighting the gods to keep his lover i dont think thats normal monke
From what i know, male monkeys usually start the flirting to enter a sort of consortship with the female. So i believe, Wukong despite the virgin that he is. Would be the first one to show interest.
Monkeys usually spend time with their future mate during courtship, so i figured instead of eating and talking to eachother to spend time. Wukong would challenge Suklha during the first few stages of courtship, if Suklha manages to outwit him he would let out these noises thats a mix of excited chirps and amused chuckles. Seeing Suklha managed to beat him in his own challenge is akin to her saying
"oh you're good, but ill try and beat you to show you im capable of being beside you"
even better when Suklha lets him groom her properly, it would take hours upon hours for him to show her that he's a good mate to keep her pretty and light colored hair clean. Suklha sitting down and waiting for him to finish, only to groom him back with her own pinchers is a sign that she accepted Wukong's feelings. (In his head anyway)
This works with Suklha, too. Centipedes spend time with their mates to start the mating ritual. Female centipedes usually release certain pheromones to attract the male interest. Wukong might notice how she has a more enzymatic scent, floral and berry-like, reminding him of the tree peaches in flower fruit mountain. This works with monkeys, although i think they release a certain odour when they want to mate rather than... courtship-
This in turn, makes Wukong more physically affectionate towards Suklha. His hands never leaving her waist whenever they talk to someone, glaring at anyone who dares to come pick her up like some sort of harlot. Wukong would compliment her to make her pay attention to him more whenever they're in public, of course this is Wukong. Hes not that good with compliments-
Suklha : you dimwit! Ive told you before how to do it!
Wukong : It seemed like i was right at first! Why are you getting so mad over! Just because you're decent-looking doesn't mean you can reprimand me however you like!
Suklha : ...?
Wukong , counting his fingers : Smart, quick-witted, courteous! Just because you're all that doesn't mean you can shout at me all you want!!
Suklha : i..
Wukong : AND STOP LOOKING SO GOOD
Suklha : IM BREATHING???
Wukong : WELL YOU LOOK GOOD DOING IT
Lastly, it would be a hard way to recognize but Wukong would speak towards her with a deeper tone of voice than usual. He'd even try to talk to her more calmly than yelling high-pitched like usual.
He'll smile more and probably do anything, yes even kill some demons and yaoguai to get an object of her desire or something that reminds him of her. Like a red jacket he saw in a village near the mountains, he'll snatch it and put it on Suklha without any word. Not even a "here's a new jacket" nope. They're already this deep in the courtship stage, she should understand what he means when he gives her things. He might glare at Suklha whenever he sees her missing the object he's given her, no words, just bites and glares.
All in all, it would be a bit chaotic. Like seeing your two best friends slowly getting together. Especially Suklha who despite showing interest in the courtship, suddenly denied Wukong of her answer after his proposal. Of course, this isn't done out of spite. She knows the consequences of accepting his proposal and she wont let a creature of this world suffer due to her. Suklha is a trickster, but she still has a heart.
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moghedien · 10 months ago
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So someone is in your inbox asking for money
I'm not going to say that every single instance of this happening is a scam, but in my experience, random people following you and then sending you an ask to ask you to reblog a post or donate, they are almost always a scam.
You may feel bad about ignoring them or deleting the ask, but doing so is probably going to be the best course of action. Not only so that YOU don't lose money but so that you don't give the scammer access to you followers.
But how could you know that the person is a scam and not the one instance where someone really needs help? Let's go over some ways to check for signs of a scammer.
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this is the post I got in my inbox today. I've personally never dealt with this particular version, so I didn't immediately delete. I probably wouldn't have reblogged anyway, but I wanted to look into this specifically.
The first thing to do is go on their blog. In this instance, the post they want me to reblog is pinned, and it also has a donation link. I'm NOT going to click on the link because there is no indication at all to what this might lead to and I'm going to instead hover over link and see what url pops up
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in this instance, the url shows me that I'm going to be redirected to paypal. IMMEDIATELY a sign that this is a scam. people can still scam with gofundme and other sites like that, sure, but at least with those sites, there is some accountability in that you can see if the donation goal is being met or not. with paypal, you're just blindly donating, assuming that this donation amounts are what the person says they're at.
And also this is not to say that honest people can't use paypal for donations, sometimes that's the only option. But if you're going to donate to someone via paypal, you should at the very least be personally aware of who you're donating to and that they are an actual person.
But let's look deeper just in case. The next thing to do is look for other sketchy signs on the blog. So I scrolled through to see what they were blogging about otherwise, and there were red flags here.
Just glancing through the blog, I could see that they almost exclusively posted about Taylor Swift and the Mandalorian. They posted A LOT within the past day (this is why you should have times enabled btw) and exclusively from the same four or fives blogs.
But maybe they just post a lot. You can actually very easily see their posting habits by looking at their archive.
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We're going to go to the three dots and click "view archive"
You can also just type in "[username].tumblr.com/archive" for any blog and access anyone's archive as long as they have a public account. But what's the point of doing that. Well, in the archive, we can get a very quick overview of someone's posting habits.
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And here I've circled in red the first and last thing this blog has posted in the month of February 2024 (the month I'm writing this). You can see that both of those posts were posted on the same day. Meaning all of their posts in the entire month of February happened on the same day.
But what about posts outside of February 2024?
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Well there are none
You can sort posts by month and year and doing so for this blog shows that they ONLY posted in February 2024 and ONLY one day in February and it happened to be the day before I got an ask in my inbox asking for donations.
These are the most obvious tells, but there are other signs you can look out for.
For instance, all of their posts are without any sort of tags. They never comment on anything and their only original post was their one asking for donations. If you click on the search function in their blog, nothing comes up
There's also the fact that the blog is clearly targeting at making the people who WOULD care about someone needing insulin sympathetic. The fact that they use BLM, identify as a black man, have pronouns in their bio all are on purpose to make people who might care feel like this is a person who deserves help. the scammer is using your empathy against you. DON'T LET THEM. Be smart and always always think before you act, even if that action is just posting. You can help people in need without feeding the vultures that want to take advantage and want to use YOU to steal from your community
But let's just be REALLY REALLY sure this is a scam.
On whim, I copied the text straight from the ask in my inbox and put into google and then added "tumblr' at the end. You'll be shocked to know there were immediate results and not from this blog
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First one was a reblog from over a year ago. the exact same wording minus the cost of the insulin and the call to action at the end
I clicked on the original poster for this and the blog was cleared out!
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Minus them using the exact same photograph in their header as the blog that sent me an ask today, of course.
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The second instance I found was slightly different wording, but using similar enough wording that it can be assumed came from the same scammer. This came from another ask in an inbox, but the receiver rightly called them out as a scam. The post is from two months ago and the blog that asked it as been deleted outright
All of this to say, there are always scammers on tumblr, but there have been a lot recently. This one happened to not be posing as Palestinians in need, but a lot are (in that instance, Palestinian bloggers have been vetting who is and isn't real so you can always check to see if they're getting support or getting called out from actual Palestinians). They won't always use these methods and won't always been this obvious, so even if you don't donate to someone yourself ALWAYS be thorough in your checking before you reblog a donation post. Make sure the charity its collecting for is REAL and if its a person asking for money, make sure that person is real as well.
You can help people without getting scammed or giving scammers access to your followers, and not reblogging every donation post doesn't make you a bad person or mean you don't care. Its important to be careful, and not being careful can do more harm than good. it makes actual people in need look sketchy and takes away resources that could have been given to them. So if you aren't sure if something is real DO NOT REBLOG IT
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nogenderbee · 3 months ago
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♡˗ˏ✎*ೃ˚ 𝕋𝕠𝕠 𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕕... ₊˚ˑ༄
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*ੈ✩‧₊˚ anon request: Hello👋, I'd like to request since your requests are open, can you do WxS (separately) with reader who's too kind? Like they always kind to people and always help them, making them a bit of people pleasure. And because of that, sometimes people take advantages of them. despite they know people used them, they're not brave enough to speak up and decline those people
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Hii!! Of course!!
Sorry it took me so long andddd I hope you like it! ^^
Also- this felt like being called out smhw ToT
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ fluff
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✧ untill Tsukasa notices the bad side... he's actually pretty charmed by how sweet you are to him!
✧ he always makes sure to give you the respect you deserve after doing him a favor, often even exaggerating... but it's just how he is
"THIS IS PERFECT!! My star, you're the greatest, most talented, purest soul to ever exist!!! I promise to return the favor you've given me with all my life!"
"It's just some cookies, Tsukasa..."
✧ but his words are definitely comforting are and never fail to make you feel a bit special~
✧ but his feelings towards your soft side changed quickly once he overhead how your "friends" were pushing you to do the piles of homework for them...
✧ he'll randomly run up to you and stop your conversation just to protect you and tell the people you're talking to what he thinks
"I mean... I guess I have time-"
"ABSOLUTELY NO!!!! What you're doing is anything but right! Just because 'you don't feel like doing it' doesn't mean you can blame it on someone!! Do it yourself and don't overwork my amazing partner!"
✧ I feel like your "friends" might more intimidated by how loud he is rather than what he's saying... but it'll definitely leave a stinge on their reputation based on the fact whole school must've heard how he yelled...
﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌
@bleachtheidiot @akitosheart @wholesaleboi @yulikesminori @alicewinterway18 @hakulivesformusic @sucodelaranja86 - come get your future star!
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✧ Emu was a bit late with releasing that what you're doing is actually pushing yourself and not just being friendly and wanting to fill up your time...
✧ she always tries to stay optimistic, so maybe that's why?
✧ whenever you told her you promised a friend something, she'd immidietly awww
"Awww~ That's so sweet of you, Y/N! Oh! Can h come help too? Pretty pleass!!"
✧ she finally realizes you actually have a problem on one day when you took too much on your shoulder and babbled out all the list of tasks you had to do in one day...
✧ she was quick to notice you'll just tire yourself out and possibly even hurt yourself if you do it all...
"You can't do that! It's WAY too much! You can even pass out, Y/N!"
"It's fine, I can manage. It's not like I can back my words now anyway..."
"Then... give me 70%!!!"
✧ she insists on taking the bigger part since she's more energetic and will not stop bragging and begging untill you agree, so might as well give in early
✧ and she's truly a girl of her words~ She does all the work flawlessly and if you're doing your tasks slowly, she might even help with your part!
✧ she'll give you a disappointed face and words if you ever take too much and... how can you see her sad? Maybe it's her plan all along to keep you away from taking too much... Who knows this girl...
﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌
@bleachtheidiot @akitosheart @hayillaaaaaaa @miguelito-maruti-blog @ravenmoon903 - come get your smiley girl!
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✧ Nene noticed your tendency to put others before yourself rather quickly... tho she didn't think too much about it
✧ that's untill she overheard your conversation with so called "friends"
✧ she stayed hidden and just waited for the conversation to end, not wanting to emberass herself for now
✧ after you're done, she'll approach you and complain a bit about what you did
"Why didn't you tell them to fuck off?"
"That'd be mean..."
"Yeah. So what? They're being mean by pushing you, you can be 'mean' by refusing too."
✧ in the end, she helps you with whatever you agreed on... she doesn't want you to overwork yourself so might as well keep you company
✧ she'll slowly push you and try to convince you there's nothing wrong with refusing to do something for your own good sometimes and that it doesn't make you a bad guy here
✧ she'll sometimes even test you with absurd questions...
"Hey, Y/N, can you stay awake whole night just to watch over me?"
"I mean... I guess...?"
"You failed the test."
✧ just... don't try agreeing on it unless you want to spend the next hour on a lecture onto how you should take better care of yourself
﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌
@bleachtheidiot @akitosheart @bl4cktourmaline @ravenmoon903 - come get your shy gamer~
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✧ Rui could easily see how you're being used... he used to have not so interesting opinion so he most definitely doesn't want you to live like that...
✧ he'll first start with talking to you and understanding your point of view as well as sharing his own opinion with you
"Darling... I'm sorry to tell you this but... I don't think they're your friends... they're just using you and your pure heart..."
"I mean... saying 'no' would be rude so-"
"So be rude. I don't want you to accidentally hurt yourself by pushing your health just to please other. And if you truly can't think of yourself... Think of me... I'm asking you to take care of yourself."
✧ he tries to be patient with it, knowing very well it can't be resolved over night...
✧ he's patient tho! He's willing to wait and help you for as long as you may need
✧ if he ever happens to overhear conversation that's goal is for you to do some work for the person you're talking to... he'll most likely step in
✧ he won't be mean tho... he knows it won't help and might make matters worse if anything... so he just makes an excuse
"Oh sorry... I'm already taking them out on a date today, so I'm afraid they're busy... Good luck with your homework!"
﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌
@bleachtheidiot @akitosheart @yulikesminori @toyaswif3y @bl4cktourmaline @superstar-ethereal @stellas-starry-stories13 @alicewinterway18 @hakulivesformusic @sucodelaranja86 - come get your crazy inventor~
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modifiedmonster · 1 year ago
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Jealous Friends/Enemies in love - 60 Prompts
Directory Writing Masterlist Blog Etiquette Buy me a Ko-Fi?
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"Oh, look who's here, playing the doting friend as always."
"I see you've found a new source of entertainment. Trying to replace me?"
"Don't think I didn't notice how cozy you've become with them."
"How convenient, showing up whenever they need you."
"You've been spending quite a lot of time with them lately. Anything you'd like to share?"
"I never realized how protective you are of them. Almost like you have something to hide."
"I can't help but wonder if you're just using them to make me jealous."
"You're always so quick to defend them. What's the real reason behind your loyalty?"
"You seem to light up around them. Is there something more going on?"
"Are you trying to make me believe you're not interested? Because I'm not buying it."
"Oh, don't mind me. I'm just the friend who's been pushed aside for someone new."
"You're good at pretending, aren't you? Pretending that you're not hopelessly in love with them."
"It's funny how you get so defensive when I bring up their name."
"I saw the way they looked at you. Do you really think they're just a friend?"
"I thought we had something special, but it seems like you're moving on."
"I've noticed how much they make you smile. Is that why you're always 'busy' with them?"
"Don't act innocent. You know exactly what you're doing."
"You're always so eager to please them. What lengths will you go to?"
"I thought rivalry was our thing, but it seems like you've found a new obsession."
"I can't help but wonder what they offer that I don't."
"You never cared this much before. Why now?"
"You've changed since you started spending time with them. Is it because of their influence?"
"Funny how you're so quick to dismiss my concerns. Afraid I'll hit too close to home?"
"I've seen the way you watch them when you think no one's looking."
"Is it just me, or do you get a little too possessive around them?"
"I thought we were enemies, but it seems like you're my biggest rival for their attention."
"You're always so eager to prove yourself to them. Why is that?"
"They're lucky to have a friend like you. Or is there more to it than that?"
"You're always on their side, even when they're clearly in the wrong."
"I can't help but wonder what it would take for you to admit your feelings for them."
"Did you just show up conveniently, or is this another act in your never-ending drama?"
"I see you've got a new favorite person to save. Is it my turn to be worried?"
"Frequent hangouts with them, huh? Trying to win the award for 'Most Supportive'?"
"You're awfully invested in their life lately. What's the fascination?"
"Funny how you always seem to pop up when they're around."
"So, how long has this new 'friendship' been going on?"
"Oh, don't mind me – I'm just the one you used to spend all your time with."
"You've been on their side more than you've ever been on mine."
"Seeing you light up around them is... interesting."
"Either I'm blind, or there's something brewing between you two."
"I thought we were supposed to be partners in crime, but it seems you've moved on."
"Don't think I didn't notice the shift in your priorities."
"I'm not naive – I can tell when you're trying to impress them."
"Caught their attention, have you? Tell me all about it."
"You seem to be their personal bodyguard these days. What's the deal?"
"Funny how they've turned into your favorite topic of conversation."
"Oh, it's a competition now? Trying to win their undivided attention?"
"I thought rivalry was our thing. Now it's turned into something... else?"
"I've seen that look before. What's cooking between you two?"
"You're quick to get defensive when their name comes up. Interesting."
"Why the sudden need to play the hero for them?"
"They've managed to change you – and not necessarily for the better."
"You're acting like you've got a secret you're not sharing."
"You've been practicing your 'innocent' look whenever they're around, huh?"
"Trying to deny it? I've seen the sparks between you two."
"Enemies turned allies? Or is it something more than that?"
"I've been around long enough to know when someone's trying to replace me."
"There's something different about you – is it them?"
"You're almost too eager to be in their good books. What's the motivation?"
"Do they even know how much energy you're spending on their behalf?"
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© ModifiedUchiha 2023 ★ Feel free to use them for inspiration , but give credit if adding to a list ★
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gotham-daydreams · 1 year ago
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Hey there! I love your work so so much! I check your blog every day and get excited for every new post, I think your ideas and your writing is just spectacular!! I have a quick question to ask if that's alright. I was wondering what the first aid kit in this part of Not Here was implying?
"Like an airsoft gun, some glass beakers, various ties, a pair of shades, a glasses frame, and a sewing kit next to a first-aid kit? Bruce didn't want to think about how the first-aid kit both looked used, and was empty."
Is Bruce upset in a "he wasn't there when the reader was hurt" way, a "how often did they get hurt" way, or is it something else?
Also, if I recall there are some hints/notes about the reader being hurt in fights before but the family never came to help or aid them, which would make sense if that was why it would be empty. Though it does make me wonder if that means they were handling it entirely on their own, did Alfred know/help or did the reader hide it?
I think my first thought about it was a bit darker (iykwim), but I didn't want to jump the gun and assume like that so that's why I've decided to ask (just thinking out of my own experiences with depression) I don't mean to be so dark on purpose though! And I think the other possibilities are more likely anyway.
All in all I'm just a bit curious since the physical hurt the reader has endured hasn't been too expanded upon yet (at least not as much as emotional hurt) and I want to know more about it, what's happened and such :)
That's all! I hope you have an amazing day! Please take care of yourself, you're the most important thing you have!! Peace!!
Hello!
As with a few other things, I really just left it up to interpretation! Since the med kit being empty can honestly mean all of those things- even Alfred persuading the reader to hide it in some way (but that most likely didn't happen, I'll say that much). Though some injuries will be mentioned later :]
After all, the reader did a lot of activities, and participated in various sports during their time in the manor, and basically crammed in everything they could into their schedule. One way or another, they're bound to get hurt. Since even if the sports and activities they've done don't hurt them, then just the sheer amount of stuff they do in a week most likely will.
Accidents are bound to happen, mistakes will be made, and that can lead to injuries one way or another. Maybe from the action of the mistake/accident itself, or from how the reader takes it, along with their own experiences away from all of those things. Like their situation at home, or things that happen to their friends.
I will say that Alfred has helped the reader with some of their injuries at this point, especially ones that were more serious and severe. Though he isn't aware of every single injury that the reader has had. Especially if they were smaller, or just easier to hide, but there have been moments where someone else outside of the manor would notice that the reader is injured instead. Which may or may not lead to a hospital visit, and such records may or may not be mentioned later.
As for Bruce and how he thinks/feels when he first sees the kit? I'll be honest, it's a mix of what you said and some other stuff.
I mean, you come into your kid's room, and not only are they gone, but you're basically shown that they lived their whole life without you through the achievements they've earned. So when you look for them and find that used, empty med-kit? You start to think about what the walls don't show. To think about the journey your kid went through to get to those points, where they were earning awards for the things they did. Bruce was anyway, and I suppose that, just something as small as the med-kit, was already causing him to think about that a little too much.
After seeing the med-kit, the fact that awards only show the end of one's journey to get that particular achievement, won't stop nagging at Bruce. He thinks of the possible hardships you've had to face, and what on God's green Earth has caused you to not only have a med-kit in your room, and hidden away, but also have it be used and empty.
It makes him wonder if it was the only kit you've used, or one of many. And as much as he doesn't want to think about it, the ladder makes sense seeing everything you've participated in, and just how messy you're schedule must've been from running around, and trying to do everything to the point where you got an award for it.
He knows accidents can happen, and where mistakes can lead someone. So just as he's about to think about it- he pulls away. Deciding that now isn't the best time to wonder about something like that, so he refocuses himself.
Though for that brief moment, he does wonder about how often the reader has gotten hurt, along with that fact that he was never there- but also never even knew about it. The possibility never crossed his mind until now, and like the awards and medals on the walls, he's only seeing the end result. The med-kit being used, empty, and possibility one of many you've gone through.
And he saw none of it. Wasn't even aware of any injuries you've had in the past or present, until he started searching for you.
Instead, he finds out through a small little kit, that was tucked away to the far end of a closet, as if trying to hide itself. It tries to pull him in with it's implications, but he pulls away before much can be done, before he can think of it anymore. Before he can realize that Alfred hasn't told him much about injuries the reader has gotten. How that could imply that the reader hid them, and took care of their injuries instead. Which would then bring on a whole new kind of worry, regret, and panic to Bruce.
The thought would eat him alive if he hadn't pulled away. He knows that much.
So generally, it's a mixed bag! The med-kit alone makes Bruce wonder about what you mentioned, along with how he wasn't told that the reader got hurt, and what that could mean.
How the reader has gotten hurt is left up to interpretation, but certain injuries they've gotten in the past from certain things will be mentioned- however! If anything happened inbetween such events, or beyond what is mentioned, is up to you! :]
Alfred has helped the reader with their injuries before, but isn't aware of every injury they've gotten. Though, that sometimes did lead to other people outside of the Manor noticing instead, which may or may not have landed the reader in the hospital sometimes. Which also may or may not mean that the reader has a record of some injuries they've had in the past.
Though, yeah! The med-kit was implying that the reader has indeed gotten hurt before and such. :]
I hope this answered your question!
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kumimi3 · 1 year ago
Note
Hii!!
so I've recently stumbled upon one of your works that has been on my mind ever since, And i checked your profile to find taht the requests were open.. so don't mind if i do!
please could you write more Poly gun and goo x reader? If possible Could it be sfw & nsfw?
anyways thank you sm i love your blog!! Take care <3
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❪ LOOKISM BOYS <3333333 ❫ ❮   a cutie with two ferocious dogs ⟡ gaming number 2! ↳ gun and goo ii
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https:strating.com! (sfw & nsfw)
Oh, they're dominant alright...
Dominant enough to make you feel submissive. The type of men to lead you, attentive and is protective of you
The thing is, they know how capable you are despite you're feminine self, but they remain stubborn and still protect you
not because they see you as "weak" no, no, anything but that! They do it because you're THEIR woman, their babygirl!!!! <3
It's as if both of their minds think alike when it comes to you despite how different they are as a person, if you look closely, you can almost see a more different side of them
The more human side
You actually have a lot of privilege than you think
Gun and Goo both have walls so high no one could achieve it for so many years, until you appeared in their lives, and you broke it down inch by inch until you finally saw them for who they truly are
Corny, i know
Gun is a dedicated man, has a reputation to uphold, stoic and emotionless--Wait! Wait! Is that Gun? With his sweetheart? Watching Barbie? And him wearing pink!? And makeup?!?!
He teaches you Japanese!
Often times he takes advantage of your lack of knowledge with Japanese by speaking to you in his language, secretly using it as a way to be more sentimental and romantic with you
"I love you... Y/n." "Can you repeat what you said? I'll translate it--" "It's nothing." *Kisses you on the forehead before leaving*
Gun is the type to read novels in his free time, HE MUST BE!
Has definitely annotated a book before and slipped it under your bed as a gift while you were sleeping, showing his comments, qoutes highlighted--Ugh, he'd definitely do it for you
Very attentive!!! When you lean down, he puts his hand on the corner of the table so it wouldn't hit you! When you sneeze, he's quick to pull a tissue and hand it to you while talking to someone in front of him
Now, Goo... He's definitely easygoing towards the relationship
Anything you both want, he's game, fr fr
He's the one who cooks for the three of you most of the time, once called you his "Cute little chef" when you decided to help him at the kitchen
If you're the type of sweetheart to vape or smoke--Nope! Now you're not! He'll throw your cigs away the moment he sees it and gives you a scolding while coddling you in his strong arms
"Sugarbunch! You shouldn't be smoking, it's bad for you!" *Pouts as he whines about how bad it'll affect you*
A teaser at it's finest!
Will tease you until the end, but if someone else does it, he's already readying his knuckles for charging, plus with his menacing glare
has slow danced to you at least once when he was feeling romantic at the time, where he's surprisingly quiet as he merely basks in the soft melody from the tv, and your warm presence
UGH, DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE MONEY PART
money, money, money
Gun and Goo have many love languages, but I suppose one thing in common is: GIFT GIVING!
You look, they pay. You touch, they pay. You smile, they pay.
That's it. They don't think too much about how much money of theirs you spend, they can make twice the amount in a week.
Besides, how could they say no to you?
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nsfw part (not very detailed, but do be cautious, ps: I'm still new at writing smut sorry jehrbferfe)
They're big. That's it.
Gun and Goo have tremendous amount of work, so at the end of the day, you'd expect rounds of sex the moment they open the door surprisingly quiet
They've fucked you separately most of the time, but gets horny at the thought of fucking you at the same time (which does happen actually)
Sex with Gun is intimate and passionately rough
He holds you possessively as he ruts into you once again for the umpteenth time, eyeing your luscious curves while you whimper at the sensitivity inside of you
"I've fucked you many times... Yet, you still don't seem to get used to it."
His cock is big, who could blame you?
Gun's a genius at making you feel good, wether it's the words he use, or just from his actions--He'd lower his lips close to your ears and speaks to you in a breathy manner, seemingly unfazed at the way you clutch on to his arms for dear life
Hidden praises and faux degradation, you couldn't tell what he would be using, but both styles have definitely made you sigh in pleasure
"Can't you see how much of a slut you look like right now? Heh, keep whining and see where that gets you." "Just like that, hah... Attagirl."
Goo's open to explore new kinks and positions, so expect a box of toys in front of you the moment he locks the bedroom door
Might be into voyeurism... He's a risky guy, after all
Leans more into praises, yet degrades you for a minute just for fun
He's fucked you most of the time through bdsm, but Goo is still a romantic, he'd like rose petals on the floor, low music, and just have a good time
Quite vocal unlike Gun--Who mostly groans--and begins to get louder the more close he gets to his high
"Fuck, you're such a good girl for me, yeah? You're close aren't ya? I know you are, I can feel you down there--Agh~" "'Wonder what Gun thinks if I send him a pic of you looking like a complete whore, ugh baby you're so fucking cute like this!"
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pinkyjulien · 11 months ago
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It's been rotating in my head all morning and since I have to wait a few hours to get my day started, might as well throw my two cents in a proper post
We really should talk about Kerry Eurodyne
Now before you run off, I think it's important to point something out; As a fandom veteran who been here since early 2021, I think others will agree when I say that the discourse surrounding Kerry has always been a hot topic that comes back around every few weeks- but why does it keep coming back?
I'm well placed to know that ignoring a problem and not talking about it publicly doesn't solve anything; everyone is quick to throw assumption and accusations, to make "callout" post, to blow things out of proportions, to take someones's squick as personal attack, and the mob mentality does the rest; everyone follow whoever is going to be the loudest about an ongoing "fandom drama"
This isn't an attempt to show anyone that they're "wrong" or "right"; there is no right or wrong in this recurring discourse. This post is an attempt at opening an healthy and mature conversation! I come in peace gfhgfh
Prefacing this by saying that I'm not a Kerry fan, and I'm not bisexual. So why the hell do I care? Well to be frank, I don't particularly care, I have my own opinions on the character, but I do care (to an extent) about this "community" and I hate seeing what happened to me happen to others, especially new commers who never meant anything wrong. Nobody deserves to be bullied out of a fandom for sharing their opinions on their own blog/space!
Alright this intro was long but let's get on it- buckle up cause this is going to be a looooot of rambling
Through the years/months, I've noticed something rather sad; this isn't a debate between bisexual people vs biphobic people, as a lot of people might think and assume; this has always been queer people sharing, sometimes in a really awkward and hurtful way, their interpretation of a character (don't block me yet, please hear me out)
Those who know me knows that I personally care a lot about the canon and writers's visions, so first I want to share some posts about Kerry made by his literal "parents"
Mateusz Tomaszkiewicz, Narrative Designer at CDPR, shared informations on the different romance interest back in December 2020, on the game's release day
When asked about a MLM relationship option, here what he states:
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(don't leave just yet)
On a now-deleted comment, RTalsorianGames, original creator of the Cyberpunk tabletop game and by definition original creator of Kerry Eurodyne, stated the following:
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Please note that CDPR did in fact consult with Mike himself about Kerry being a MLM exclusive romance!
(Also this isn't a debate about if Kerry cares about V or not, let's not derail this conversation, remember that everyone is allowed to interpret a character and a relationship as they wish)
I wanted to share these tweets to point something really important; there is no "right" or "wrong" label for Kerry, and it all boils down to interpretation < key word
Kerry have multiple states; we HAVE to remember Kerry exist in some kind of cyberpunk multiverse!
We have his 2020 and 2023 self that are confirmed to be bisexual; this is the Kerry Mike and RTalsorian created, the Kerry they have full control and say over; the same young Kerry we see in Johnny's flashback
And then comes his 2077 self, which we see confirmed above as labeled as Homosexual (which again as been approved by Mike himself)
I personally think it's important to start with what his different creators have to say; Kerry is both Mike's and CDPR's character; Kerry is both labeled as being Bisexual and Homosexual
There is a lot of reasons why this change / evolution was made, even tho we all know the main reason; they needed a MLM romance in the game to complete the LI roster. But why take an already established character, a Bi character even, for the Gay romance?
I've seen a lot of people saying that CDPR erased his bisexuality, I understand why it might feel like this, but I don't think it's true or fair! Again, remember that Mike gave his OK for this; he could've at any moment said no, Kerry is HIS baby first and foremost
In game, we learn about Kerry's ex wife and kids; this is something CDPR could've not included at all (and THIS would've been erasing his bisexuality imo) it's not even something that is said out loud, but something to be found by dedicated fans; it's here on purpose, to give depth to the character and to his personal life!
We also see a couple of feminine clothes around his villa; let's not assume anything here, clothes have no genders especially in the 2077 setting, but it can also well point at one-night stand with women and/or multi-gender orgies for example
But, this won't be anything new or controversial, Kerry pushes femV advances in game- this is simply a fact! Like it or not, that's how CDPR's writers, RTAL and Mike decided to evolve Kerry's character for the game; everyone was ok with this
Now comes the root of the debate; Is it homophobic to mod Kerry to be romanceable by a femV? and is it biphobic to not be comfortable with this?
No, and no - (don't leave just yet, please read a bit more)
Remember that I'm "just" a gay man, I've had discussion with friends of all gender and orientation about this topic and it's been enlightning to hear the different opinions on the matter!
As previously mentioned, it all boils down to Interpretation.
The discourse recently came back because someone shared their uncomfortableness regarding mods that change Kerry's preferences; in the post tags, OP made sure to say that everyone was free to do anything, to ship anything, and that this was just their opinion; but obviously the fandom didn't read that part and started to throw accusation around, and here we are (I shouldn't have to remind people that we all are free to share whatever on our respective blogs, if it hurts you just block the person, don't jump them)
OP is a Bisexual Man; a lot of other Bisexual Men related to this post and rebloged it, sharing their thoughts in the tags (I also rebloged it, I know it caused a few people to back off and block me as a result, which I respect totally)
Going to pick up my questions back up to hopefully state my opinions and "analyses" of the situation as clear as possible
Is it homophobic to mod Kerry to be romanceable by a femV?
No, it's not
Kerry is bisexual, he was married to a women, and potentially still have sex with women and fem individuals, these infos are all canon in game.
Kerry pushes femV flirts away; but since he experience attraction to women, who is to say that in someone's own canon, their fem OC isn't a V, and doesn't have Johnny involved, changing how Kerry and their OC meet drastically; Kerry could fall in love with her! He could; he's bisexual after all.
Is it biphobic to not be comfortable with this?
No, it's not
Kerry has a clear preference for men; CDPR choose to show this multiple time in the game, during Johnny's flashback we can see him make out with a masc fan, we can see him being vulnerable with Johnny (imo, his lil crush is showing hard)
I personally haven't seen it/heard it in game, but I've been told that after learning about Kerry's ex-wife, Johnny has a vocal, surprised reaction, has if imagining Kerry with a woman is strange to him
However, there is a lot of biphobic things being said in the discourse, and not in the way you might think of
I thankfully never see the full extent of it; I don't see the obviously biphobic takes, stating that Kerry SHOULD NEVER be with a femV, people being nasty and ATTACKING femV/Kerry shippers; this is never ok, these have been blocked for a long time now
But I sadly see the other takes, which always icked me a bit; the takes that say, "you bisexuality isn't worth of respect if it isn't a 50/50 attraction at all time", takes that are sadly biphobic in nature (making it clear that I'm not pointing finger at anyone, nor am I accusing anyone of being biphobic)
This is what it boils down to, I think, this is the root of the problem
As mentioned before, a lot of Bisexual Men expressed their uncomfort when it comes to femV/Kerry mods; it invalidated Kerry's preference. But this isn't about Kerry, he's fictional, he CANT be hurt by anything, by mods or art or whatever; It invalidate Bisexual Men that share the same preference in Men, Bisexual men that related to Kerry for X or Y.
Bisexuality is a spectrum, queer people has been fighting against Bi erasure for years, but also against Bi stereotypes; and I think this is one of them? (Please correct me if I'm wrong)
Bisexuality isn't a strict 50/50 split preference- it can be! But 60/40, 20/80 and even 99/1 attractions are still Bisexual attractions. I've met a lot of queer people who, despite being bisexual by definition, choose not to label as such (prefering to label as straight or gay depending on their preferences) just because of this "bisexual police" imposing a strict 50/50; "How can you be bisexual, you've only dated men/women" etc
This is what is being imposed in the fandom, this is how it might looks like to people; when you attack a Bisexual Man sharing his uncomfort in seeing people not respecting a Bisexual character's preference, you're telling them "Hey, your bisexuality isn't valid if you have a preference". You're telling them "Your bisexuality isn't correct". You're showing them that you "fixed" a "flawed" bisexual character "that got erased as gay for having a preference" by "modding his bisexuality back"
Kerry being written as MLM exclusive in Cyberpunk 2077 isn't bi erasure; he's still Bisexual, he simply has a strong preference for Men. A preference that he always had, but that can also be amplified after his divorce with his ex wife, for multiple reasons; I also don't have to point out how many queer people in real life explored their homosexuality after being in a hetero-marriage for most of their lives! And that's ok, queer love is an ever evolving spectrum, and I think it's awesome we get more fleshed out characters that explore this in depth
I've seen people compare Kerry to Johnny, and I don't think it's fair; for the simple reason that Kerry is a romance option and Johnny is not.
Johnny express a clear preference for women; however he replies to V (and flirt, in some case) the same way regardless of gender! Kerry on the other end, as previously said, pushed femV's advanced away. Something Johnny can't do since he's not a romance option; tho if he was, and if he was pushing mascV advances away, it would be the exact same situation and same problematic!
Another character that is canonly bisexual is Goro; he replies to V's flirt through text messages the exact same way, he doesn't seem to express any preferences (and no, his "obligation in japan" isn't necessarily a wife, this is heteronormative and another problem all together, not the subject here)
People can express being uncomfortable seeing Johnny with a given gender, or Goro with a given gender; but there isn't any """reason""" to it outside of personal preferences
Kerry situation is problematic because it lies in his clearly, canonly stated preference, how people decide to interpret it, and how it can come off to other queer people who might share sexuality and/or preference with the character
Everyone is free to ship whoever however they want
But please; remember that everyone is different. People being uncomfortable with a character bisexuality preference being ""fixed"" shouldn't be too surprising; and if it is, please re-read my post/ You have to be ok with this fact, it's OK to make content that might be uncomfortable for others; this is fiction!
There isn't any Right or Wrong way to be bisexual, to be queer Kerry's bisexuality is perfectly fine; unmodded or modded Everyone is Different; Every Queer experiences is different People relate to characters in different way
Nobody is being misoginist; there isn't any double standard at play
Bisexual people sharing their opinions on their own blogs on how a fandom handle a character's bisexuality isn't biphobic, or an attack to anyone who interpret the character differently!
I promise you nobody is attacking anyone, and a lot of things being said accidently comes off as biphobic on both sides of this eternal "debate"
It all comes down to respecting others interpretations, and agreeing to disagree! Tumblr's filtering system work great, you can easily filter and block tags, or even people if needed
I might've said things awkwardly, and for this I apologise; but don't put words I didn't say into my mouth! If you don't agree, that's fine, and you're more than welcome to filter/block me if needed; but please do not paint me as biphobic or misoginist, same goes to everyone who shared their thoughts on the matter, these are serious accusation and can wrongfully hurt a lot of people
Ship and let Ship, take care of yourselves and remember to curate your space 🙏
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thedrarrylibrarian · 1 year ago
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hi!! I first off wanted to say THANK YOUU!! I came across your page abt two months ago when I needed new fics and I use your recs so often!! I was wondering, what are a few of your all-time favorite fics, if you had to choose? (:
Oh my goodness! I'm so glad to hear that you've been enjoying my blog! I can't believe I've been running this blog for 3 years today!
What a fun ask (I've been sitting on this so I could use it for today!) I really struggled to pick fics - or more accurately, not to pick ALL the fics! I picked fics that are my go to rereads - whether it's because they make me laugh or because they pull at my heartstrings, or because they're so hot, these are some of my personal favorites.
Cupboard Love by @shealwaysreads (4,184 words, rated G)
Cupboard Love: the psychoanalytic theory of an infant’s primary drive being food which, when satisfied, leads naturally to a secondary drive for attachment.
Harry’s life, and love, in food.
Still Warm, Still Warm by @tsauergrass (4,899 words, rated G)
Harry is up to something. Why else would he keep giving Draco presents?
Five Little Things by @bixgirl1 (6,197 words, rated T)
Harry was supposed to be good at this.
Headway by orphan_account (7,482 words, rated M)
“It’s called courting,” Draco spat suddenly, livid and red in the face. “I wouldn’t expect you to understand a single thing about it, actually Potter, since it’s formal, and there are rules, and neither of those are concepts you’d know anything about even if they took on human form and kicked you right in the fucking dick.”
The Exhale by spqr (7,506 words, rated T)
Hermione makes a soft, concerned sound. "Harry, look at this." She shows him an article with a photo, but the photo's not moving; it must be a Muggle newspaper. "NASA have just landed a rover on Mars. It's called Curiosity, and look, this is so--I don't know if it's sweet or sad, but--it's all alone out there, and they programmed it to sing itself Happy Birthday."
Nothing is wrong, but Harry starts crying.
Silverpoint by @tackytigerfic (8,836 words, rated E)
It seems fairly simple to you, but you know that you don't really understand love - how could you, after all? You've never known how to talk about it, but you've never had to before. Everyone you ended up loving has always understood. You've been able to show them, by fighting for them, dying for them.
That seems a bit much- after all, Malfoy just wants tea in bed and his cock in your mouth (not usually at the same time).
It's ok to love him, you reason with yourself - he doesn't have to know. No one ever has to know.
Quick as a Flash of Lightning, Unhurried as Eternity by @onbeinganangel and @babooshkart (10,000 words, rated E)
Can you fall in love with someone by simply watching them fiercely love another version of yourself?
The Way These Days Seem to Go (And Go) by @firethesound (15,230 words, rated T)
Stress baking isn’t a hobby Harry ever thought he’d pick up, but he’s surprised to find how much it helps him to get through those long months post-war. It keeps his hands busy, it keeps his mind occupied, and when Draco Malfoy steadily pushes his way back into Harry's life, it helps with that too.
Let him lead me to the banquet by @harryromper (16,066 words, rated T)
The worst part is Harry’s got no idea why Malfoy keeps sending him invites. He’s never replied to a single one. And if the whole dinner is as exclusive and sought-after as the Prophet keeps breathlessly reporting, then presumably the only reason Malfoy wants him there is in his capacity as the Chosen One. So, really, he can fuck right off. Harry doesn’t care about Draco Malfoy’s redemption tour. And he’s certainly not going to help him with it.
Draco Malfoy Absolutely Does Not Need to Be Loved by Harry Bloody Potter by @nv-md (18,153 words, rated E)
It’s not easy to be bonded to your childhood rival, turned fuckbuddy, who you also have extremely uncomfortable but repressed feelings for—just ask Draco Malfoy.
When You Kiss Me (What A Lovely Way to Burn) by @femmequixotic (22,167 words, rated E)
A drag fairytale of New York in which Draco wears red lipstick and Potter can’t get enough.
In the dark, the light by phrynne (32,203 words, rated E)
‘Potter… It’s Malfoy. Do you still want this?’ It started like that. Malfoy’s breath on his ear, his voice low, hot against his skin. Harry shivered, though he could feel the heat from Malfoy’s body just behind him, too close, but not touching him. Even if he could. For the rest of the night, he could do whatever the hell he wanted with Harry.
Clouds That Veil the Midnight Moon by @drarrytrash (36,733 words, rated E)
According to Harry’s personal narrative regarding the incident, he’d hooked up with Draco Malfoy for purely self-destructive reasons, or out of convenience, or by some unlucky accident. Looking at him, sprawled in the moonlight, Harry is devastated to recall that he’d hooked up with Draco Malfoy because he’s hot.
Draco is a secret werewolf and Harry is doing his best and they've got criminals to catch, darn it.
Boiling Point by @goldentruth813 (42,882 words, rated M)
After an Auror raid gone wrong, Draco ends up trapped in a dodgy safehouse with nothing but Harry Potter’s dubious company and a dwindling supply of food. With only each other and the walls surrounding them, they're forced to confront their past and their feelings which have long been threatening to boil over.
The Liars Department by @dorthyanndrarry (103,395 words, rated T)
This is a story about Harry meeting up with Draco Malfoy four years after the war. And a story about Harry, well, not hating his job per say, but it's not like he has much to compare it to and it seemed fine. His whole life seemed fine. Then Malfoy came along with and his flashy suits and fast car making everything seem dull in comparison, and Harry... Harry couldn't just leave well enough alone.
Grounds for Divorce by @tepre (122,217 words, rated E)
Malfoy finds a coin. Harry finds a letter.
A story about histories, a story about families. A story about a lemon tree somewhere in Upper Egypt.
What We Pretend We Can't See by @gyzym (131,086 words, rated M)
Seven years out from the war, Harry learns the hard truth of old history: it’s never quite as far behind you as you thought.
❤️ As always, if you find a fic you enjoy, please remember to leave the author a kudos or a comment! ❤️
Love forever,
The Drarry Librarian
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cy-cyborg · 8 months ago
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Proximity to disability is not the same as living with it - Writing disability quick tips
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[ID: An image with “Writing Disability quick tips: Proximity to disability is not the same as living with it” written in chalk the colour of the disability pride flag, from left to right, red, yellow, white, blue and green. Beside the text are 2 poorly drawn people icons in blue, one is standing, the other is in a wheelchair. /end id]
One of the really common ways people push back against disabled people trying to give them feedback on how they’ve depicted disability in their work shows up as something along the lines of, “Well I have a child/parent/grandparent/friend with that disability, so I don’t need to consult other disabled people because I already know what a life like that is like!”
I see the most vehement pushback like this from parents of disabled children. the parents who are their child's advocates, their carers, they see everything their kids go through and have been with them through it all, so they "know what they're talking about already". And the thing about that is, while it means you have much, much more experience with the disability in question, it's not the same as direct experience living with it. Don't get me wrong, it's still an incredibly valuable experience to have, I'm not saying to disregard it, but it's not the same as having that disability. And when you're writing about characters who are disabled, and telling those stories to a public who already have a lot of misinformation about us going in, that lived experience is very, very important.
This isn't unique to parents of course, like I said, I've seen the same kind of pushback from children, friends and other loved ones of disabled people, and honestly, as someone who's been on both sides of the conversation (being a disabled person, but also having loved ones with disabilities different to my own), I do get where it comes from. But no matter how close you are with your disabled loved one, no matter how much you talk, no matter how much they explain everything, unless you yourself have that same disability, it's incredibly hard to understand the details of what life with a disability is like.
Let me use my partner as an example:
Often times, before these larger articles go up, I run them by my partner to ensure the tone and message I want to get across is actually what’s being conveyed. Which means he’s read pretty much every single article I’ve written on this blog. We talk about disability representation and tropes a lot, and he is one of the only people who sees my unmasked and unfiltered reactions to media when it’s done poorly. He’s also done a great deal of his own research on the subject, and worked with other disability sensitivity readers for his own writing projects. Not to mention, well, we live together, he sees pretty much every part of my day-to-day life and he’s one of the only people who doesn't share my disability who I talk to about the more complex emotions that come with it.
I think it’s pretty fair to say he’s quite knowledgeable on the subject of living with the specific disabilities I have for someone who doesn't have them. Despite that though, he still makes mistakes. He still misses things, and sometimes, internalised ableism - something everyone has, even disabled people - still creeps its way into his work. So do mistakes he simply didn't consider to run past me or his sensitivity readers. It’s not because he’s not listening or not trying, I’d confidently say he’s gone above and beyond in that regard, but it still happens. He still misses things that seem so obvious to me, specifically because of my lived experience as a disabled person who has to deal with these things all the time. It’s not unique to him either. A lot of people in my life are aware of the issues I talk about, but struggle to recognise them in practice or struggle to understand why them being depicted poorly is a problem.
This isn't to discourage creators from trying, mind you. But just to serve as a reminder that everyone makes mistakes, and that's ok, so long as you're still trying and still listening. No matter how close you are to a disabled person, no matter how much work or effort you put into unlearning things like internalised ableism, it's still going to pop up occasionally. And that's fine, but it means that you still need to be open to the criticism you get from people with that disability.
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save-the-villainous-cat · 1 year ago
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Hello Cat, I have been stalking your blogs for about a year now. Your writing is impeccable and I hope to be as amazing as you are some day.
Anyways, I have a request for a possessive Hero getting jealous over supervillain being creepily touchy. But villain is oblivious to it all. H
If you do this, thanks! ❤️
All it took was one news report.
The hero had wasted their evening on the couch, trying to get as much takeout into their stomach as possible, not even paying much attention.
It didn't really bother them to see themselves on TV, however when they announced "exclusive footage" showing the villain, their interest was piqued. Usually, they got to footage like that before the reporters did, so they were more than pissed when they saw the "questionable relationship drama" between the villain and the supervillain on screen.
The supervillain's hands had grabbed into the villain's flesh easily, not even realising when the other had flinched. Obviously, the reporters had speculated about an undeniable sexual relationship, hinting at all kinds of...preferences.
Of course, that had only put more salt into the hero's wound. They had been boiling for over a week.
And now, the hero couldn't even lift their head to look at the villain.
"Ready to give up?" the villain asked, out of breath. They looked horribly exhausted, had looked like that for over two weeks and they were still getting up and still pretending to fight the hero.
"You're injured. This would be a quick fight if I took it seriously," the hero replied and, unfortunately, their stomach was burning. "Let's call it a day."
"No way."
The hero turned around, eyes bloodshot, watching their enemy carefully. And nothing, absolutely nothing could fight the demons in their head that imagined the supervillain's fingers digging into them. God, the hero had lost already, hadn't they?
"What the hell is wrong with you?" the villain asked, their voice closer to a whisper than anything else. Frankly, the hero didn't know. They couldn't sleep, couldn't eat. Whenever they thought about the villain, the supervillain appeared right behind them.
Such a wicked demon infesting their dreams and turning them into nightmares. Sometimes they went too far, showing the other two kissing.
The worst thing was that the villain seemed to enjoy that. Every touch and every kiss. The hero knew, hoped, that wasn't the case. Hoped the villain would end this.
"Do you like them?" the hero asked quietly.
"What?"
"The supervillain. Are they good to you?"
"They're my boss. Wait, are you talking about the footage they released?" the villain asked. Now, they seemed uneasy, unfocused, panicking, somehow.
"Yeah. Is it consensual?"
The villain didn't say anything for a long time and that was enough of an answer for the hero. They had sworn to never kill a human being but this time, they felt like they could make an exception. Poison, maybe? A fight? The hero wasn't sure what was appropriate enough for someone like that, what they deserved.
Poison seemed to be too nice and a fight would exhaust the hero-
"...I guess not saying 'no' is a yes for them. They never do...things that go too far but they also don't really stop. I mean, how on earth am I supposed to say no to my boss? I'll get fired or killed if I do." The hero looked at them, looked at the exhaustion written into their features and the hero was fully aware of their own feelings now.
"Can I get your permission to take care of this?" they asked, still staring at the villain.
"What do you mean?"
"Will you allow me to kill them?"
Again, the villain was quiet. But despite the hero's slowly developing bloodlust, they thought they could see hope light up in the villain's eyes.
"You're free to kill whomever you want to kill," they said finally.
And even though that was a pretty forward statement, probably neither expected the hero to show up at the villain's doorstep, covered in blood and gore a few hours later.
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normalaboutfugo · 9 months ago
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"I can't find an ask box so I'mma just drop this here! I would love something with mafia boss GIORNO finding out his mom had another kid and pretty much goes feral to adopt them !! tyy"
𝐈𝐍𝐕𝐈𝐃𝐈𝐀 — 𝐄𝐍𝐕𝐘 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐌.
⋆₊☆ ⊂⊃ platonic yandere don!giorno || m.list
[ warning :: PLATONIC/NOT ROMANTIC, kinda kidnapping, platonic yandere ]
[ notes :: first post!! thank you @foundfamyanderes for requesting!! <3 i can't remember what happened to gio's mom but just pretend she left giorno and had reader and left them too lol ]
[ important :: see this post on another blog? likely a repost to my rebranded multi-fandom blog! don't be afraid to check, but if they're not linked w me, let me know! <33 ]
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— when giogio first learns his mother went on to have another kid, he wanted to have a genuine connection, and he did everything in his power to find them. what if you weren't doing so well on your own, assuming that your mother didn't care about you, like she didn't with him? there's no way he'd let his own blood live like this, especially when he was doing so well.
— giorno did everything he could to look for you, searched the internet under the last name shiobana to find a lead, he looked for his mom's profile online, and when he found it, he saw various pictures of drinks, club floors, everything you'd expect from someone like her.
— it took a long time, quite a bit of searching through what seemed like a million pictures of your mom partying — giorno scrolled for hours and hours, ignoring the way his eyes burnt when he looked at the screen for too long.
— finally, after he thought he was starting to fall asleep from staring at the bright computer screen for forever, he found multiple pictures of selfies from his mom with the head of a child in the background; cropped out the best if could be, but still quite obvious you existed.
— it took a long time to find you, but honestly, it confused giorno. why was he so hooked on meeting you? he only found out you existed a few days ago, and you didn't even know you had a half brother.
— when giorno finally found you, he had immediately introduced himself to you — not as the don, but as your brother. he wanted to have a genuine connection with you, because he never had a sibling, and while everyone in bucciarati's gang were like family, but blood ran thicker than water.
— and upon finding out you were broke and living on pickpocketing because your mother left you? giorno spoiled the fuck out of you. when he met you, he treated you to a meal at one of the nicest places in italy because he wanted to make a good impression, but when he finds out you're not used to such good dining and being treated well?
— most definitely takes you shopping for whatever you want, turning you down when you say you'll pay him back for it.
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"Here, whatever you want."
"That's...! Giorno, no, I'll pay you back as soon as I ca-"
"With money you took? Don't worry about it, there's more than enough for you to have what you wanted."
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— reader goes quiet real quick
— not long after meeting him, giorno offers you a place to live. the streets got cold at night, and he would know. gratefully, you accepted it; what else could you do?
— it doesn't take long for giorno to get overbearing. he'll start putting extra locks on the doors, and when questioned, express that he just wants you to feel safer in your new home.
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"..Giorno, what's with the locks on the door?"
"The locks? Oh, I wanted to make sure you felt safe, is all. Is there a problem?"
"Well.. no, I just.. don't you think it's a bit much?"
"Mm.. no, I don't think so. You can never be too sure."
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— he might even give you a curfew at first
— he'll give you the reasoning that the streets of italy aren't safe at later times, which is semi-true. it really wasn't safe to be roaming around at night, especially after you start living with the boss himself; word spreads like wildfire in passione, and a bounty would be placed on your head by traitors before you know it.
— eventually, a curfew turns into him spending every second with you during your outings, and that turns into you just not being allowed to leave the house at all.
— even if he needs to pull a few strings to find a reason to keep you home, he'll do what he needs.
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"The strap on your bag, it's broken."
"Oh, yes.. I noticed a bit ago, but it's no big deal."
"That's fine, we can get you a new one today. There's got to be something identical somewhere."
"Should I get ready to go out, then?"
"No, you don't need to. We can find something online, or I can go find it at the store we bought it from."
"..Oh. Why?"
"I don't want you going out."
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— when you bring up your concerns to him about not being allowed to leave, he takes it really well, as if he'd just up and abandoned his previous reasons for you being kept inside. and after that, you go to bed that night with relief, sleeping easily knowing that it's going to change.
— except for in the morning, when you're leaving the room, you turn the doorknob only to realize you were locked in from the outside. on the nearest table is a notepad, next to a plate of food and a cup of water. written in red ink,
"[READER],
It's wrong to lock you up, but I can't bring myself to put you in danger and allow you to leave. But I can also promise it's only temporary, I want you to be happy here. I had some business with the famiglia, so I left home quite early this morning. I will return, but while I'm not there, I left food and a glass of water next to this note. I'll be seeing you soon.
— Giorno
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descendinginto-madness · 11 months ago
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welt except he has a fever and desperately needs sleep
cw: descriptions of illness, high fever, being kinda delirious/out of it, sleep deprivation?, nightmares, headaches, mentions of death
contains spoilers for welt's hi3 lore
also, disclaimer! welt in here is very reluctant to ask for help and feeling bad about it because... well i imagine he'd react like this, BUT! needing help and asking for it is completely normal and valid and okay; please remember that and take care of urself ok!! ily /p
alright, so...
i'm gonna be honest since i found @bugbytez13 's blog welt sickfic ideas don't want to leave my head LMAO except i will write a detailed description of a fic instead of the fic itself. that's it that's the post
tbh this ramble in particular could be made into two separate fanfics (one sickfic and one specifically about the nightmares) but shh
i will forever be self conscious or anxious about things i post that aren't just headcanons or silly little rambles, but also... writing this went surprisingly smoothly so! enjoy the essay or something idk HAHA
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so, about welt...
i just know this man is going to force himself to stay awake. maybe his self-sacrificing issues are less present now, and he doesn't immediately throw himself in danger in every fight ever, but he's still stubborn as hell. so he won't admit something is wrong. he won't admit that maybe getting way too little sleep several days in a row wasn't doing wonders for his immune system and he's now finally feeling the consequences. to be fair, he expected it might end like this, but he didn't want to take breaks - there's still too many things to take care of before they finally head to penacony. and now, he will still insist of taking care of everything, even though his body is basically begging him to go take a nap.
except maybe, he didn't even expect it to get this bad. or thought that he can just power through it. i mean, he's been through much worse, right? this is nothing compared to literally losing his body for some time. but he's sitting in the parlor car, and he's half awake, and unusually cold, and his head is hurting, and keeping up the act is getting harder and harder - but he has to, because the younger members of the crew are here too, even if only march is talking to him.
but they pick up on the fact that something is wrong, of course they do. his eyes are unfocused, he looks like he's about to fall asleep - or pass out - and march had to repeat herself twice for him to even fully process what she was asking him, and so suddenly stelle is next to him, attempting to touch his forehead - and he recoils. "i'm fine," he says, and it's probably a bit too quick and a bit too firm than he'd like it to be, and all of this is stupid, really, because he shouldn't be scared of someone touching him. how hot can it really be anyway if he's feeling so cold, right? but if that wasn't enough dan heng asks an even more dreaded question, "are you sure, mr yang? do you want us to call himeko?" and welt decides it's time to excuse himself, before he makes them even more worried. because even in his present state, he can pick up on the fact they're concerned, but at the same time unsure of what to do, and it makes him feel guilty. of course they're unsure; he's usually their caretaker, and he always knows what to do, and it should never be the other way around. he should've just stayed in his room all day, shouldn't he.
"thank you all for your concern, but i'm alright." he stands up. "now, please excuse me, i still have some work to do." of course that's true, but he's almost certain he won't be able to focus on that- but he just needs an excuse to get out from here and be left alone anyway.
but stelle is right next to him, and looking determined to accompany him to his room, too. "you look like you're about to fall, mr yang," they explain, and he wants to insist that he's okay once again, but realizes he's too tired to do so. it would take him at least a few minutes, and it's a few minutes he doesn't have nearly enough energy for. he just wants to finally lie down. so, he lets stelle essentially escort him into the hallway and to his bedroom, and make sure he doesn't collapse on his way there, and-- it's embarassing, honestly, because it's already so difficult for him to show himeko the slightest hints that something might be wrong, and right now the situation is similar but ten times worse - so it's also ten times harder for him to come to terms with the fact he needs to rely on someone.
"my... apologies for making you all worry," he says quietly when they reach his room, and he's so thankful that he left the lights off, because the parlor car was way too bright, and though the hallway was a bit better, it still wasn't good.
"it's alright," stelle shakes her head, and stands there in the doorway, even as he heads towards his bed and sits down. "i'll ask himeko to check up on you in a bit?" she asks, and he only nods, though he isn't sure if she can actually see it. he doesn't want to talk anymore, he doesn't want to think because even just that seems to make his headache worse, he just wants stelle to leave, he just wants to sleep-- he isn't even sure if he understood her question correctly, but he also doesn't have the energy to care. he falls asleep the moment the door closes behind her, fully clothed and half covered with a thick blanket, but even then he isn't allowed a peaceful rest.
memories from old battles flash before his eyes, silhouettes of enemies he once fought, those against whom he won - but also of those who severly injured or even killed him, and with that come the memories of the pain
and the fear of losing his body again.
when he finally awakens, sweating, shaky for reasons other than his fever, and still feeling pretty awful, it takes him longer than usual to remember where he is. it takes him longer than usual to remember that he's safe.
but now there's medicine and a thermometer on his nightstand, and a note written in himeko's neat handwriting - though he actually spots and reads it some time later - telling him to rest as much as he needs to, because she'll take care of everything; and only after he does read it and feels a sense of relief come over him, he realizes how much the thought of having to leave all the work in order to take a break actually stressed him out. he still feels bad about it, because of course he does, and of course he's going to apologize to everyone later.
but he's also able to sleep more peacefully now.
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